Before Monkey, we suffered a very early miscarriage, something, I don’t really think about, I guess I brushed it aside, saying that out loud, sounds so brash & cold! I was just so eager to try again and a few months later, we were pregnant with Monkey.
I think about that time here and there but lots of feelings and memories have returned from reading this book.
Since becoming an avid user of Instagram, I follow so many courageous, inspiring women, One in particular is Nicola aka Pea, On Insta she’s known as ‘One day of Winter’.
I came across her, when she was pregnant with Raven.
Raven is a few days younger than Piglet, so I instantly felt a connection to her page, but more than that, her son Winter captured my heart.
Winter was born and passed away after just a day! He is Raven’s older brother.
I was given the privilege to read her new book, I was apprehensive as its a something I have felt very naive on. Yes I have miscarried but I didn’t feel worthy to even for a minute know or understand what baby loss means. I did however want to understand.
Since reading this, I have felt more at home with my feelings and what happened, and just for this I thank you Pea.
“A person’s a person, no matter how small” – Dr Seuss (taken from Life after baby loss)
‘Life after baby loss’ A companion and guide for parents is beautifully written, I couldn’t put it down. There was a few people I couldn’t get out of my head while reading this, the friends I feel I could of said more to, but never knowing the right thing to say or behave. I wish I had this before.
Even if you haven’t experienced baby loss, its a perfect insight, the book is broken down into chapters for parents to go to the parts that maybe they feel they need advice on or maybe its how they are feeling at that moment in time.
The ideas to include babies into your lives, suggestions for the milestones or celebrations, even to how you can include your family and friends is just inspirational. Its certainly a companion, that I believe lots of parents will get a sense of understanding and that they are not alone.
The way Pea writes, its as though, she sitting on the sofa next to you, holding your hand, she speaks of her own thoughts, memories but she keeps ‘you’ the reader at the forefront.
I’ve learnt so much from this book, the insights into ‘things people say’ when something like this happens, which are unfortunately not helpful but how you can approach this, to some lovely Buddha teachings, that you can use in how we see the world and life. I’ve gained a greater understanding of loss & what as a friend I can do, and how you can support.
I feel so privileged to of been given the opportunity, and I have this sense of feeling calm and so much adjuration for Pea & the loss community, by sharing your journeys, saying your babies names, seeing this ‘taboo’ subject begin to disappear is just incredible.
Winter & Raven are so lucky & proud of you.
Find Pea on Insta