Sooooooooooooo, I have finally got some time to sit and make a start on this, who would of thought it would take so long with a nearly 4 year old & nearly 6 month old hehe
My real journey began when I became a mummy & this is how it happened.. oh okay not the getting pregnant part.. you don’t want to know that ha ha.
I didn’t really document my first pregnancy with notes, a few but not many, only photos of my growing bump ( I did with number two though so be prepared 🙂
I was plodding along in my second week on maternity! Had not long, logged off my laptop from work, was hard giving my ‘work baby’ away! Due date hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was 38+3. When you are a first timer, people assume you will be late! I still hadn’t quite got my head around the fact I was having a real life human!
I spent the day before cleaning the flat, even cleaning cupboards ‘I mean who does that’ I still had the floors to wash but was going to do the following day.
D day.. or should I say C day
I met my mum, Nan & Sister in town for some shopping, while Hubby worked from home, in fact we sat in John Lewis’ cafe the whole time chatting & eating cake. My mum still laughs now that I was up & down taking my niece to the toilet for most of the day.
My sister & I dropped my mum home & normally I would stay at my parents until my Hubby was ready to get me, but today felt weird all I wanted to do was to get home.
So my sister took me to hers!
I was on and on to the Hubby asking when he was picking me up! Just had this urge to be at home. Eventually he did!
We got home about 7pm, thankfully he had been working from home that day, as he wouldn’t of been around at this time.
I went straight onto my ball to get comfy, a few bounces.. and boom this gush of fluid went.. I freaked out.. shouting to martin!
I remember thinking it shouldn’t be happening now eeekkk, its not my waters, it cant be! Maybe I peed myself, its not THE time for baby, surely not!!! Contractions started, well at least what I could only guess was contractions.
I got into the shower to get comfy & remember the midwife saying this in one of the classes.
Martin called the midwife unit, asking about contractions etc, we had some back and forth for about 30 mins… then they said to come down..
I remember freaking out, worrying that I hadn’t got round to washing the floors!!!!
We got to the hospital at 8.15pm, the contractions were getting stronger & more intense.
I hung onto the desk as I was booked in! We were taken to triage & waited to be seen, Martin rubbing my back at every contraction… he was so good!
A lovely midwife came and checked me and I was 4cm… how did that happen! I remember thinking, this cant be it! it cant be happening now!
I was taken up to the birthing suite.
The midwife started to fill up the bath, within minutes my sister arrived & said you won’t get very far with your pants still on 🤪
Soon after my parents arrived, my dad waited outside. I was so lucky that they allowed my husband, mum & Sister to stay.
Martin rubbed my back, while my mum & sister gave encouragement, egging me on!
I remember watching the bath filling up, drip by drip… typical
I got given the gas & air finally.. the midwife wanted to check me, so I went over to a futon on the floor.. I was pissed that the gas and air had been taken away, I kept asking for it, so they moved it to a different pipe..
I let out a crazy yelp.. it was the feeling of no control & wanting to push! My sister turns to my mum & says OMG that is the noise of baby coming..
The midwife couldn’t check heart rate where I was, so got me to go to the bed.. she checked me then got my mum to press the big red buzzer… I was in a daze so some of this is from my hubby & mum telling me, but in came doctors & midwives. I do remember thinking oooo this doesn’t seem good. Baby’s heart rate had dropped so they needed to get baby out.. The doctor said something to me, I thought he wanted to put a wire on baby’s head to check heart rate so completely misunderstood! What he had actually said was that he needed to give me an Episiotomy, as baby needed to be delivered, I was given a ventouse delivery to help to get the cheeky monkey out (which is now very apt)
Gabrielle Aplin singing the power of love was playing on the radio, with my sister by me and her phone out capturing this amazing moment. Some photos which will never be public haha
My mum the other side & my hubby by me too! I gave everything I had, gas & air in one hand! bar to the bed in the other!
I had our baby placed on me.. (still holding onto that beautiful gas & air).
I had that urge & complete emotion to cry, I think all energy had gone & I didn’t but was just in awe of what had happened!
My husband asked what we had, the midwife said take a look..
We have a Boy!!!!!! my hubby announced to us
My mum went out to my dad who had been waiting and said Becs had the bubba… he generally didn’t believe her! He couldn’t believe how quick I had been! He was waiting for an all nighter haha
Not sure if you remember from earlier, that the bath was taking its time filling up! Well once I had given birth, the midwife went to the bath & pulled the plug, it had taken my whole labour for that bath to fill haha (They could of at least kept it for someone else)
The gas & air carried on for the last part of the labour experience, where you give birth to the placenta, like you haven’t done enough hehe. While this was going on, Our baby boy was weighed 5lb 13oz, pretty tiny but very long (funny as martin and I are short arses! but he definitely takes it from my side as they are tall too )everyone got cuddles & pictures.
We announced our boy’s name… now known as Monkey
After all the cuddles & photos, tea & toast, martin and I were left to it.
I had a shower, while martin dressed Monkey, we were given this gorgeous baby blue knitted hat, we still have this now, its soooo tiny.
I was taken down to the ward around 2am, we came across the same midwife by the lift (taking her next set of parents to the birthing ward) She was shocked it had all happened so fast, I was settled into my bed, with Monkey right by me in a hospital crib, Martin unfortunately had to leave us, there I was all alone with our boy, for what seemed the longest night..
I just held my gorgeous boy all night while some of the babies cried and some of the mothers snored.. My baby did cry, of course he did but that’s why I held him so he didn’t wake anyone else, this is I suppose where you start to worry what others think.. you are only a parent for a minute and already worry if you are doing the right thing. I promised myself I would get a private room if I was ever doing this again! That sounds so snobby! But I really do recommend if you can, to have a separate room to spend the night, It depends on the delivery you have etc, but if you can… Do IT!
Not much sleep was had and the minute I felt was an appropriate time to message martin I did.. so at *8am* I messaged asking him to please come and take me home…
As I was a first timer, they were not letting me go so easily, until I had shown I was successfully feeding.
Monkey, had fed fine after being born and throughout the night, but the minute I had to prove it was all OK… nothing
So I had the midwife trying to help him latch, then a doctor came, a lactation expert, this all sounds crazy but I knew why.. neither Monkey nor I were comfortable, I was getting anxious & Monkey knew this.
I had everyone trying to help! Trying to hand express, syringing tiny amounts of colostrum
I said to them to please let me go home, I need to be in my own space and learn with my son, I was finally able to leave at 8pm that night.
I have to say, although the hospital was amazing and i’m so lucky, I wasn’t too happy at being kept in for so long when I knew.. my gut & instinct knew, I would be OK when not being poked and prodded.
What do you know, the minute I was at my mums after being let out, Monkey fed fine. (we were visited the following day & again he was feeding fine)
Once martin & I got back to ours that night, we placed Monkey in this tiny crib.. looked at each other & said now what…..
It took some time to heal and start to feel normal, but for those days, weeks, months & now years, I still think back to his birth & it fills me with such joy. I know it sounds so cheesy, But I really do, I amazed myself at how I handled it, and any time some one else was pregnant I would be so excited for them, and get excited that they were to enter into this amazing journey.
Cant believe this was nearly 4 years ago… my gorgeous first born
Our first family photo- The three of us
Our beautiful monkey, who changed our life forever